The Birth of My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby! The Tales of a 3x Traditional Surrogate Mother
Ten days ago, I published my first book, “My Egg, My Womb, Your Baby! The Tales of a 3x Traditional Surrogate Mother.” I wanted to spend a bit of time talking about the book and my motives for writing it, and answer a number of questions I know people will have prior to purchasing the book or after reading it.
Why write this book? I wanted to tell a story that wasn’t already out there. A story no Gestational Surrogate mother could tell. I was surprised that this story had not been told yet, after I started writing the book and thinking about what I was going to do with it. I didn’t want to tell a story 25 other surrogate mothers had already told. I also thought it would be a wonderful thing for the children who were born with my help to hear the story about how they came on to this earth. When they are older, their parents will have the option of sharing their story with them from my prospective.
Some people view Traditional Surrogacy as backyard surrogacy, only done by poor, uneducated surrogate mothers who recipient parents take advantage of to save money. Why be a Traditional Surrogate? Honestly, surrogate mothers in general often get that rap as uneducated welfare moms trying to make a quick buck to survive. I think it’s that’s very ignorant and stereotypical, period, Gestational or Traditional. It’s easy to judge something you know nothing about and quickly come to the conclusion it’s wrong or right. Without my willingness to allow these recipients to use not only my egg, but also my womb, they wouldn’t have been able to become parents, plain and simple. Gestational surrogacy, using an egg donor, is almost a hundred thousand dollars. Very few people on this earth have that kind of money sitting in a bank account. In modern surrogacy, if you don’t have that kind of money, you’re pretty screwed. Do you still deserve to be a parent? Of course you do, and so did the recipients I carried for.
Why should you buy the book? Its a great read, very candid and at times funny. The writing style is very reflective of my personality. Once a person gets to know me often off the cuff references will often roll out of my month. A lot of that comes out in this book. Its very entertaining. It also offers a very unique insight to traditional surrogacy, which is the oldest form of surrogacy. I hope that it gives hope to those recipients who don’t have hundreds or thousands of dollars to spend on surrogacy. It is still possible that you can become a parent. Traditional surrogacy isn’t easy but its worth another look.
Was every journey perfect? No, but what in life is? During my first surrogacy, the recipient and I had and still have a great relationship, but during delivery, hurdles arose with the hospital. They were very judgmental and not kind to myself or the recipient. My second surrogacy proceeded perfectly. The recipients were lovely, nothing went wrong. It was wonderful. My third surrogacy had numerous hurdles. It was the toughest out of all them. A real reality check to how surrogacy really often is. It was the first time the recipients opted not to keep in contact with me, and not respect my desire to have children biologically related to have a chance to know me. Right now, that surrobaby is not currently old enough to understand how he came into the world. I worry about him showing up on my doorstep years from now, wanting to call me mom. What effect that it could have on him learning he has been lied to his whole life. I hope that they opt to be honest with him, or he never EVER finds out, which will be impossible, since these recipients are friends with my first recipient’s partner, and that child is aware I am her biological mother. I just don’t want him to suffer emotionally as a teenager or adult.
Are you going to be a Traditional Surrogate again? No, I had my tubes tied in 2011 after the birth of my fourth child. I have no further desire to be a surrogate mother. My uterus has done plenty of good for others.
Available in paperback on Amazon for $9.95 or in Ebook on Smashwords for $4.99